This one likes a good penis joke

on the plane;
Frances - Are those nuts in your pocket (in a seductress voice)
Mom - hahahaha i bet you've used that one before

and there was that comment she made about my birthday card.
i pointed out the badly drawn breasts on the woman.
and she pointed out that they look like sad penises, then claimed that she didn't say penises and asked what kind of penises i was looking at.

good thing i spend a lot of time at bars so my parents expect this of me.

This is your life- the music industry

chicago...

i drank a lot.
33 drinks
didn't pay for at least half.

met viva brother at a bar. my friends can thank me for that hook up.
they put us on the list for their show the next night since it was sold out.

went to the show.

after partied with them. bar. tour bus. bar. bar.

despite temptations i was a good girl.

commissions

I am taking commissions for paintings

special deal -

$50 any subject and size.

all you have to do is provide the canvas - either buy yourself or give me the extra cost.
and if i run out - white paint, matte medium/glaze medium

and you are in charge of framing it i you want a frame.

can be finished in 1 to two weeks time.

where is the heart? i wouldn't say here.

Reverse culture shock is usually described in four stages:

Stage 1: Disengagement
Stage 2: Initial euphoria
Stage 3: Irritability and hostility
Stage 4: Readjustment and adaptation

Stage 1 begins before you leave your host country. you begin thinking about reentry and making your preparations for your return home. You also begin to realize that it's time to say goodbye to your friends abroad and to the place you've come to call home. The hustle and bustle of final, goodbye parties, and packing can intensify your feelings of sadness and frustration. You already miss the friends you've made and you are reluctant to leave. Or, you may make your last few days fly by so fast that you don't have time to reflect on your emotions and experiences.

Stage 2 usually begins shortly before departure, and it is characterized by feelings of excitement and anticipation- even euphoria - about returning home. This is very similar to the initial feelings of fascination and excitement you may have when you first entered your host country. You may be very happy to see your family and friends again, and they are also happy to see you. The length of this stage varies, and often ends with the realization that most people are not as interested in your experiences abroad as you had hoped. They will politely listen to your stories for a while, but you may find that soon they are ready to move on to the next topic of conversation. This is often one of the transitions to Stage 3.

Stage 3 You may experience feelings of frustration, anger, alienation, loneliness, disorientation, and helplessness and not understand exactly why. You might quickly become irritated or critical of others and of US culture. Depression, feeling like a stranger at home, and the ongoing to go back abroad are also not uncommon reactions. You may also feel less independent than you were while abroad. Most people are then able to move onto Stage 4.

Stage 4 is a gradual readjustment to life at home. Things will start to seem a little more normal again, and you will probably fall back into some old routines, but things won't be exactly the same as how you left them. You have most likely developed new attitudes, beliefs, habits as well as personal and professional goals, and you will see things differently now. the important thing is to try to incorporate the positive aspects of your international experience while abroad with the positive aspects of your life at home in the US.

Kat Dancer

My friends are so dear to me. Though they may pass through my life quickly they are always in my mind and living memories. I have met some of the most fascinating and amazing people in my travels and I am so happy to say that we still keep in contact. 6 messages from 4 people in 1 day!! in traveling you meet people and you may get along well or you may not get along, but you chat and you bond because you need each other. and little do you know but you will go through the same things.

this is from a message that a friend sent me. ps. that is 25C not F

When I first arrived in Spain at the beginning of June I sank deep into a state of culture and life shock, it seemed so harsh being removed from the life I had been living in Asia. For two days I was bundled in blankets and wool sweaters against the 'cold' (25 degrees). I felt as though I had been uprooted and dropped into a state of limbo... so planning for a return to Canada and all the people I need to reconnect with, all the things to do, became very important for me.

I look forward to being able to return to Thailand and Bali, I do not know how I will make all these things happen, but there are things I have to do, and now I have so many more friends in many different places, I want to keep all the connections alive. I miss the dancing!

Bali, and all my new friends... are constant sparkles in my memory.

buttery nipples, dirty martinis, margaritas, wiskey sours, beer, wine, shots

oh the list goes on.

the world is so much more beautiful

What did you think this blog was about?

Sea of Cowards

Judith, I hope this letter finds you and your eyes can find these letters that I’ve found. Sam, I’ve always made mistakes like this. Digging up things that should be left in the ground. This letter will be “old” some day, rear up, rush open and break your heart. I know, believe me, my shelves are full of them. Have you noticed that forest fires get started by looking too hard Well I’ve noticed that forest fires dont go out by looking at them. They seem to walk toward you at a faster pace. I try to watch them on television these days. They say “psychic drag” doesn’t work through TV. The world is the ocean and the land is wet. But my mouth goes dry every time i get the feeling i was taught to swim for all the wrong reasons. Circus lions seem to laugh at me, even though I paid My money like everyone else. Well your’e not like everyone else. Be glad the lion laughed, it’s rather rare. There is nothing of the sort documented in the encyclopedia or anywhere else. To get applause is to be ridiculed. It’s true when your’e a child. But is it still true when you’re a man? When you were a teenager. Did it feel better? I felt better. I didn’t know no better. Cracks in the kitchen, suitcases on the porch. A lot of things were different when i returned. My window was broken and the graffiti on the wall said “Go Home”. But I was home, wasn’t I? Was my language lost? Were my lungs broken? Had my mind hardened? My tooth loosened? Did I leave my heart at one of those doctors? Uptown, downtown, some town somwhere along the way the long way there? Things change. There’s nothing in those suitcases, it’s all in the cracks. To remember, To be a member, to be remembered To terrify, and be terrifying, to be teriified. To wake up. Plants grow up, why can’t I? Help a younger brother Stand up and survive. You gotta feed the meter a dime a dollar, give it water, call someone “father”, confess like a daughter, bleed to be smarter. Then you will grow up. A chain gets dragged across an iron floor and not A sound is made because i can’t hear any more It’s beautiful watching the bridges we’ve burned turning into boats. One day I’ll sail over, crossing my heart like a river, and you will get my jokes. A mother and father wait by the phone, nobody Returns, on the wall a picture of home I’ve forgotten you at times, but it doesn’t mean i don’t love you most of all. To eat rich and risk death and write with bricks And beat walls I try not to lean for long or think too hard about all the things I’m not allowed to do. Because I will want to do them then. And I will do them then. And I will burn just then. And guilt will still be someone elses word in someone else’s world. goats have it better, no speed, all fodder All responsibility lies in the rooster but hens Lay eggs and eggs break the game wide open And the bull will charge and take charge and flatten the cat and all bets will be off and the iron gates will shut, and be shut up for night, then shut for good, all hope will be lost, for 9 months at best, until the next bull fighter is born. Remember when we found mud and tried to give The mud to the nuns? Yes. They weren’t interested. And what a shock that was. We’d always thought they’d be eternally interested. An american truck drove by too fast and ripped off one of My arms. There’s nothing more thrilling than a bus going 90 on an american highway, your axels threatening to break in two. The truck stop is a mockery of soured love I am a foster child. Not anymore. Teeth get counted, stored, cleaned, shown, and bite down Hard upon anything that exists to be broken and bitten. Those who seek illness in the roots of health are perverted without being charming. There’s nothing a matter with being perverted as long as you are chaming. Please stop by if you are ever around. I will. But you know as well as i do. Accidents are derived from mythology. If I come, it will be completely on purpose. My light will be direct. So through the night. - Judith love sam kay