Am I Equal the Douche?

@ 5 spot


I don't ever remember the name of the guy I'm dancing with, this has been kind of embarrassing.

I'm kind of shallow.

I avoid some people but fake a smile and a how are you.

Sometimes I promise to dance with someone and then I avoid him.

Riddle Me This

What are boys' intentions and expectations when they go out or go to bars? I know girls, girls want attention and expect to be looked at or talked to, maybe strike up a friendship or more - depending on the girl. I want to know what the expectations of the counterparts are. What do they think about as their getting ready? What are they expecting to have accomplished? Do they think that far ahead?

I often feel that guys just go to bars to get someone to hook up with. Maybe that's only the guys who come to me - but why me? I don't think I give off the sex vibe. Maybe I do though, maybe I can use this to my advantage.

By this age (twentyish) I know how to get someone to approach me, it took some practice but I think I have a handle. And not just me, my friends know what to wear and how to act to get attention. However, this attention only seems to attract a certain kind of guy. We keep getting douche bags, guys who will stare intently into your eyes thinking you want to make out with them too, guys who will stick their gross smoker tounges in your mouth when you thought it might be ok to kiss them, and guys who after an evening of bonding over common interests and dancing ask "your place or mine?"

Where did I go wrong? What did I do to make you think that I would go home with you? Was it when you offered me a drink and I took it? Was it when I accidentally bumped into you butt? Was it when I was laughing with my friends and I drunkenly caught your eye?

Maybe it wasn't me. Maybe these guys were trained by other girls, ruined by other girls and they think that they can do the same things to me that worked before.

I have been wondering this for a while, so I decided to ask some guys in my class what they did. They seem like good guys and I can't imagine them acting so douchey so I wanted to know what their thought process was. How can I change my act to get a guy more like them, who probably wouldn't expect me to go home wth him after I was just being friendly.

The boys weren't serious in their answer and I don't think understood what I was asking - this was their response --

Here is another question that I posed to the boys:

say you go to a bar, you see the girl of your dreams (or one that is deeply interesting) what do you do?
on a related, but different note, (because the boys said that they go to a bar to drink and that's it) do you only go to bars to drink? you can do that at home.

No Shit Sherlock

francesii 22:08: oh and guess what i found out!

francesii 22:09: it is a family secret

francesii 22:09: they said i didn't need to tell you but i want to sooo bad

francesii 22:09: i love to gossip

unknowndja 22:09:

what is it?

francesii 22:09: are you ready?

unknowndja 22:09:

yes

francesii 22:09: grandmama was married before she married granddad

unknowndja 22:09:

no shit sherlock

francesii 22:09: i kept asking dad about it and he got very mad

francesii 22:10: what?

unknowndja 22:10:

yeah i already knew that

unknowndja 22:10:

thats not a family secret thats a matter of fact!

unknowndja 22:10:

but i don't know the details

francesii 22:10: what?!

francesii 22:11: who told you?

francesii 22:11: you dont know any details?

unknowndja 22:11:

it was openly said before

francesii 22:11: by who

unknowndja 22:11:

you didn't know?

francesii 22:11: how old was she

unknowndja 22:11:

i can't remember

unknowndja 22:11:

she was young

unknowndja 22:11:

did you watch that banksy video?

francesii 22:12: no i didn't know! i was talking about women in the 40s and how they weren't wearing white wedding dresses and i used grandmama as an example and dad goes - she was married before

unknowndja 22:12:

check out revok1.com too

francesii 22:12: i paused it but i am watching it

unknowndja 22:13:

ok, yeah but i was told a long time ago and didn't think anything of it

unknowndja 22:13:

i'm guessing she murdered him

francesii 22:13: dammit i can't believe no one told me

unknowndja 22:14:

or granddad got in a knife fight with him over grandmama and granddad won and got to keep grandmama

francesii 22:14: and i was holding it in since they said not to tell you

francesii 22:14: or he died in the war

unknowndja 22:14:

grandma probably told me come to think of it

francesii 22:15: they didn't have any kids?

francesii 22:15: why you and not me

unknowndja 22:15:

not that i was told

francesii 22:15: cause you are in a serious relationship

francesii 22:15: goddamn

unknowndja 22:15:

cause i carry on out name!

unknowndja 22:15:

goshdarn

unknowndja 22:15:

our*

francesii 22:15: sigh

francesii 22:15: this is frustrating

unknowndja 22:16:

sorry to burst your bubble

francesii 22:16: i want to know more

unknowndja 22:16:

maybe you are going down a road you don't want to be going down

francesii 22:16: how do i not want to go down this road

unknowndja 22:16:

I just wanted to say that to make this like a horror movie.

francesii 22:16: hahahah

unknowndja 22:17:

well if grandma is a murderer and you find out, she might murder you

unknowndja 22:17:

and an epic fight follows

unknowndja 22:17:

at her house

unknowndja 22:17:

and you end up pushing her down the stairs

unknowndja 22:17:

and telling the police she fell

unknowndja 22:18:

roll credits

unknowndja 22:18:

i'm thinking m. night shamalan

francesii 22:18: HAHAHAHAHA

unknowndja 22:18:

and jack white's wife as you

francesii 22:19: hahahahaha

francesii 22:19: kathleen is cracking up

unknowndja 22:19:

I will be played by charlie from lost

francesii 22:19: i read her the plot

francesii 22:19: he's a little guy

francesii 22:19: so we are played by english actors?

unknowndja 22:20:

yes we have to change the setting so people don't know the truth

francesii 22:20: hahahahah

unknowndja 22:21:

I'm awesome

unknowndja 22:22:

ok well i'm going to go take a shower and try and study for my test tomorrow.

francesii 22:22: oh david you kept me laughing

unknowndja 22:23:

Have a good one, and good luck with the racunteurs gig.

unknowndja 22:23:

any time frances

unknowndja 22:23:

bye! love you. cya, Grapes.

francesii 22:23: bye!

francesii 22:23: love you

Project: Naked Graduation

Grapes and I are doing graduation naked. I had plans to diet and exercise. Alas, I haven't had time. I haven't had time to eat or sleep either.

so, good news: I have dropped weight from eating so little and am almost as skeletal as I want to be.

bad news: no sleep = not a lot of control.

no beauty sleep = no beauty?

that's sad.

the night and i have decided to get serious

Dear Night, with dates as good as these we should get serious.
Dear Frances, I thought you'd never ask! Love, Night



a glittery preparation
dancin
avoidin past, present, and future suitors
a little filmin
a little walkin
whiskey and beer
zucchini and brie
family history of mermaids and werewolves
coffee with cops
a hike
a glorious sunrise
lost keys
and a run home for work

you absolutely positively bore me

thank god I have cool exciting friends instead of you.

talking to you bores me
your haircut bores me
your voice bores me
the way you talk bores me
your sense of humor bores me
your walk bores me
your clothes bore me
your smile bores me
in fact your whole face bores me
your intelligence bores me
your car bores me
the way you drive bores me
your posture bores me
your taste in television bores me
your taste in movies bores me
the food you like bores me
your cooking bores me
your religion bores me
your furniture bores me
your emotions bore me
your computer desktop bores me

inspired by pink's encounter with harmonica douche

a dude once talked down to me for being catholic. so i stopped talking to him he didn't get it and is now known as "the stalker" nick name

however, i make fun of protestants all the time. it's a double standard that is ok.