Your mind is swimming.

You know those times.
   When you go to bed early
   To face the next day
   And you lie there for hours
   Because your mind is swimming

Swimming with possible solutions
   To all of those problems
   All that you have to do.

Things that I value in a person:
 Intelligence
Ambition
Wit
Laughter
Free will
Free spirit
Cleanliness
Organization
Creativity
Knowledge
Kindness
Trustworthiness

I am so irritated by my surroundings.

A day like every day

On my way home from work, what a bull shit day by the way.

I just wanted some consolation. Not some explanation of the other side. Just someone to tell me I was right and everyone else was wrong. Because that's what you want to hear when you're upset.

The person I really wanted to call for some consolation. The 5 Spot. But it's not a person...if it was it would understand.

What happened at work?
I got reprimanded. Use some tact he said. I could go further, but what's the boring fucking point?

you alone. you forever alone

There is no more trust
There is no more life
because of you

well, this was a strange convo. specifically the come back to me part. fyi this is one of my students in thailand

 

 

 

Today

good eveing

evening

good morning for me

it's 10:18 AM here

cup pom

how are you?

sa bay dee mai

sa bay dee kah

ok nad u

tom a lay u

ok, i don't know that much

what does it mean? tom a lay

teacher i miss u

so much

what do u doing now

right now i am cleaning my room.

teac good bey bye.

what are you doing? are you in a university now?

or next year?

yes

What time you wake up.

Where are you now.

I woke up at 7, because that's when i usually have to wake up for work

I am in America

I help refugees

You'll be back when I return.

be back in thailand?

or are you coming to america?

u don't me

what?

I will come back to thailand soon, but I don't know when

I miss you a lot of my friend's room for you to come back to me.

oh that's very nice, thank you

wath time do u

?

Do you....

I'm going to bed.

ok, good night

thank bye

see you again

Chat Conversation End

Would you rather...

Would you rather-

Have an undemanding job as a nanny working $12/hr or work in the field you want to excel in making the same amount in a more demanding job?

Perhaps you will make $1 more per hour working full time, you will be rising up, but you will also be making the same amount as a full time nanny.

Drop it all for nannying? Fuck no, that's a stupid mistake. Do what you love.

Maybe you won't feel happy money wise. Maybe you will feel under appreciated sometimes. Maybe you will be stretched thin and want to kill to be paid to watch a Disney movie.

But you are stimulating yourself and think of the gratification.

highs and lows

i live in time with you

in sadness i die

post 100. is this what the 5 spot is to you? is this what it is now?

you come with a group of girls. one is interested in a bad boy type who got possessive when she danced with a new guy the week after they met when she invited him and he didn't come. seemed sweet no?

no. possessive.

you all watch him the entire night. fucking around. trying to make her jealous in return. playing games.

we get it. you want her to know you're desirable. you want to prove it to yourself.

fucker.

you come over to our group. we're having fun. dancing. it's a fucking dance party. to 50s and 60s music. we (and everyone else there) are going to act silly and throw some funny moves in. it's time to be a free spirit. let it out.

fucker makes fun of a girl dancing on the stage. elaine he says.

far from it. she was doing a good job.

dancing with the fat guy he says.

hey shit face. he's having the most fun. so yeah. im going to leave your fucked world and have fun dancing with the fat guy.

and yeah. he punches me in the face accidentally. and strangles me with his tie. and throws out the same weird moves. but hes having fun

and not judging.

so i'm going to yell at you when you call us stooges. i'm going to make sure she doesn't go home with you. and none of the girls i know will go home with your friends. take your bullshit home. tattoo it on yourself. you have a lot to prove. make it permanent.

dont tell your friend that you are going to fuck this girl and her friend too. it's not going to happen.

have fun with your hands tonight

all my distaste,
Frances

ps. the rest of the bar and i had a great time.