you alone. you forever alone

There is no more trust
There is no more life
because of you

well, this was a strange convo. specifically the come back to me part. fyi this is one of my students in thailand

 

 

 

Today

good eveing

evening

good morning for me

it's 10:18 AM here

cup pom

how are you?

sa bay dee mai

sa bay dee kah

ok nad u

tom a lay u

ok, i don't know that much

what does it mean? tom a lay

teacher i miss u

so much

what do u doing now

right now i am cleaning my room.

teac good bey bye.

what are you doing? are you in a university now?

or next year?

yes

What time you wake up.

Where are you now.

I woke up at 7, because that's when i usually have to wake up for work

I am in America

I help refugees

You'll be back when I return.

be back in thailand?

or are you coming to america?

u don't me

what?

I will come back to thailand soon, but I don't know when

I miss you a lot of my friend's room for you to come back to me.

oh that's very nice, thank you

wath time do u

?

Do you....

I'm going to bed.

ok, good night

thank bye

see you again

Chat Conversation End

Would you rather...

Would you rather-

Have an undemanding job as a nanny working $12/hr or work in the field you want to excel in making the same amount in a more demanding job?

Perhaps you will make $1 more per hour working full time, you will be rising up, but you will also be making the same amount as a full time nanny.

Drop it all for nannying? Fuck no, that's a stupid mistake. Do what you love.

Maybe you won't feel happy money wise. Maybe you will feel under appreciated sometimes. Maybe you will be stretched thin and want to kill to be paid to watch a Disney movie.

But you are stimulating yourself and think of the gratification.

highs and lows

i live in time with you

in sadness i die

post 100. is this what the 5 spot is to you? is this what it is now?

you come with a group of girls. one is interested in a bad boy type who got possessive when she danced with a new guy the week after they met when she invited him and he didn't come. seemed sweet no?

no. possessive.

you all watch him the entire night. fucking around. trying to make her jealous in return. playing games.

we get it. you want her to know you're desirable. you want to prove it to yourself.

fucker.

you come over to our group. we're having fun. dancing. it's a fucking dance party. to 50s and 60s music. we (and everyone else there) are going to act silly and throw some funny moves in. it's time to be a free spirit. let it out.

fucker makes fun of a girl dancing on the stage. elaine he says.

far from it. she was doing a good job.

dancing with the fat guy he says.

hey shit face. he's having the most fun. so yeah. im going to leave your fucked world and have fun dancing with the fat guy.

and yeah. he punches me in the face accidentally. and strangles me with his tie. and throws out the same weird moves. but hes having fun

and not judging.

so i'm going to yell at you when you call us stooges. i'm going to make sure she doesn't go home with you. and none of the girls i know will go home with your friends. take your bullshit home. tattoo it on yourself. you have a lot to prove. make it permanent.

dont tell your friend that you are going to fuck this girl and her friend too. it's not going to happen.

have fun with your hands tonight

all my distaste,
Frances

ps. the rest of the bar and i had a great time.

Chatting with my friends fromThailand

It's comforting to know that what you went through/are going through is also being had by others.

Im also happy being back but noone understands what ive experienced apart from who were there wh me which puts me in a weird spot... But i guess you know what i talk about

lol

have you been getting kats emails?

Yes, well, until i blocked her... Depressed me too much

Hihi

HAHAHAHAH!!!

Lost... One of the reasons i left: most longterm expats were lost to the max. Didnt want to end up like that
No, just the fact that most of the expats are running away from something and you just cant run away from yourself. You hv to fight ur fears and obstacles. They'll always travel wh you. Better to deal wh it and not try n run... Thats one of my biggest lessons in the last year.

I didnt go there to try n solve something, I tried to figure out if i could live in Th for a longer period of time. Well, I cant! I am Western, always will be, cherish my friends n family n love asia but dont want to swap one for the other

I found out there are some things I highly value and do not want to compromise... In order to stick to that I need to be right here, in cold, negative, dark n wet Holland... The other things are so important for me that Ill cope wh the rest

U r who u r!

Im sorry i missed that party back then

I was very drunk but...

What time you hv?

career to do list

update resume

find out how to write a grant

ask for advice on improvement from supervisor

email lady working with burmese women at the hospital

get a crappy retail or restaurant job to pay extra bills in the mean time

rosetta stone arabic

rosetta stone spanish

learn spanish

learn arabic

practice burmese?

apply apply to world relief

omg i found dream jobs