Sunday, June 6, 2010

A New Diet for All You Fattys

I created a new diet. it's very effective for all trying to lose weight. this is what you do - party at night, lots of dancing and alcohol. The dancing is good for firming you up, also walking is good so be sure you do some.

During the day your body is trying to rid itself of the alcohol, there might be throwing up - this is good, more effective in the weight loss . Warning - when you wake up the next morning and feel like you are going to vom, don't take ibuprofen first, it tastes terrible and burns and numbs, gahhhh you just don't want to do it. You may need to eat, it's ok. I recommend granola bars or a slice or two of pizza or cereal. or pasta (careful with this one)

You need to drink a lot of caffeine during the day to feel normal - like you haven't had all that alcohol. This will make your heart race (burn cals), and it fills you up so you won't be eating so much.

You might sleep a lot the next day; this is good in that you won't be eating. If you are too busy to sleep, maybe you are also too busy to eat - very good. Maybe you will sleep late so only end up having a snack and then dinner later, and then maybe breakfast when you are trying to sober up to drive home (again careful) - better just to stop drinking earlier.

Most importantly - you need to stay so busy you won't think of eating, the caffeine helps with this. oh and you need to drink a lot of water.

PROS to this diet - YOU LOSE WEIGHT!!! and sometimes you feel like you are floating.

CONS to this diet - you might hallucinate and/or pass out (prob cause you dehydrated yourself), you get a tad loopy (lack of sleep and nutrition, so take vitamins?)



Now just watch those lbs melt off.

Don't forget to drink water, and stop eating meat - that will make the weight drop faster.